Sunday, May 24, 2009

Magic Johnson's English

We acknowledge that he is a miracle of science -- that his HIV has not progressed, that he has stayed healthy, and that it's a wonder that he can be in the spotlight.

That doesn't mean he has to.

It's not that we don't respect his basketball acumen. It's that we loathe his pronunciation.

We recall with disgust how he had been hired as a color man (no racist comments, please -- it's what they call it in television) to cover one of the Bulls' championship runs back in the day, and how we would race for the mute button whenever he flapped his trap.

The quality of Magic's commentary, to the extent that it was intelligible, was overshadowed by his inability to speak the language what with dropped consonants, mispronunciations, and general abuse of English. The memory of Magic's commentary made gloomy Bill Walton, whose pessimism rivals ours, a welcome addition to the broadcast team. We laud whichever network was covering the NBA that saw fit to muzzle Magic all those years ago.

Now he's back butchering the language on ESPN, and it's making us nuts again.

We can't abide hearing him say "frow" or "thow" one more time.

Would someone please axe him to shut up?

No comments: