Sunday, April 5, 2009

North Korea -- angry letters or angry cruise missiles?

Team America: World Police, the puppet movie send-up of the US's response to terrorism in the world was derided as sophomoric and filthy.

It was, which is why we found it so funny.

It was also a frightening, cold, sober look at the reality of how United Nations diplomacy so often doesn't work. Recall this exchange between Hans Blix, the famous UN weapons inspector, and Kim Jong Il, the manipulative psycho who runs North Korea:

Kim Jong Il: Hans Brix? Oh no! Oh, herro. Great to see you again, Hans!
Hans Blix: Mr. Il, I was supposed to be allowed to inspect your palace today, but your guards won't let me enter certain areas.
Kim Jong Il: Hans, Hans, Hans! We've been frew this a dozen times. I don't have any weapons of mass destwuction, OK Hans?
Hans Blix: Then let me look around, so I can ease the UN's collective mind. I'm sorry, but the UN must be firm with you. Let me in, or else.
Kim Jong Il: Or else what?
Hans Blix: Or else we will be very angry with you... and we will write you a letter, telling you how angry we are.

Kim then feeds Blix to some carnivorous fish and sings a touching ballad about how "ronery" (lonely) he is. The South Park guys hit it out of the ballpark in our opinion.

On Sunday, North Korea launched what they claimed was a satellite, but what the rest of the world that doesn't buy their ridiculous propaganda (i.e., Kim's ability to hit several holes in one each time he plays a round of golf) knows was an intercontinental ballistic missile.

The United Nations Keystone Kops' subsequent inability to come to a consensus on how to respond (other than "continuing discussions") should make our collective blood run cold.

They can't even agree to write (another) angry letter, or to send the self congratulatory -- and sad loose cannon, in our book -- President Jimmy Carter over to negotiate (another) end to Pyongyang's nuclear ambitions. Recall that Carter visited in 1994, cut a deal, and was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize thereafter, adding him to a list of distinguished incompetents that includes Koffi Annan and Yasser Arafat.

The US gets in enough international trouble when it saves the world from psychotic, violent dictators when it has the support of the international community and its collective wisdom.

Who knows what will happen if we have to act alone when we don't have their support? Let's get the UN working on their angry letter lest the US Navy be required to work on some angry cruise missiles.


Dan Sayre said...

Critique: A
Recommendation: F
What's your proposed response? Regime change?

Stephen Ban said...

We're not recommending cruise missles, necessarily...only pointing out that (1) the UN can't balance its checkbook, so we shouldn't expect it to have any impact on Kim (2) he's a psychopath, so the suggestion that he'll listen to reason is sort of lame and (3) we need to entertain the notion that some form of aggressive action -- whether it's "regime change" (isn't that what we did to Iraq?) or honest military action may be the ONLY course of action that will work.

Or should we just have Japan write an angry letter the next time he bounces a missle over their heads?

At some point, as we tell our kids, you stop negotiating with bullies and beat the crap out of them instead.